Tonight was kind of an informal practice. Thursdays are normally when the Betties have their real practice while the Nuggets (beginners) who want some extra track time can skate around the side of the track. Tonight there were not very many of either group. My bet is that a lot of people are out of town for the holidays. Also, it has been raining buckets and today was the first day since the rains that the track was available. We started off by toweling off the remaining puddles.
Tonight we reviewed our skills and did kind of a run-through of what the assessments will look like. Before I can join the team, I'll need to pass the skills assessment which is a standard test of skills that all roller derby girls must pass to show basic competence on the track. As the date grows closer, I've become more and more anxious about the skills I haven't conquered yet. Anxious is actually a gentle word for it. It has been consuming me.
We did our run through. I'm glad I got to do this because I missed the skills review a few weeks ago when I was in Washington. I struggled to keep up with the pace line, flailed on my stops, still can't glide on my right foot, and took a few magnificent falls. I was so intent on trying the moves that "falling small" was the last thing on my mind. We are taught to fall small so that when we fall on the track, we are less likely to get run over by the girls behind us. Luckily, I did my own sprawling falls far from everyone else and didn't get run over.
At this point, passing assessments on the first try seems to be beyond my reach. As badly as I want this, it actually feels liberating to accept that I need more practice. And practice, I am. I'm going balls to the wall every chance I get. I'm pushing myself like I've never pushed myself before. I'm taking every opportunity to get more comfortable on my skates, taking advantage of extra time on the track, going to Ventura to use the rink, and skating around my wood floors at home. I'm on skates every day of the week. At least I can't be discouraged about my effort.
When I do get discouraged, I remind myself that I've only been doing this for six weeks. No, of course I can't skate like a real roller derby girl yet, I'm still a baby roller skater. I'm basically learning to crawl, walk, run, fall, and do what feels to my body like crazy acrobatics, all in a really short time period. I may not keep up with the other girls, but I'm skating circles around the skater I was six weeks ago. I'm maneuvering around the crowded rink without running over the kids who dart out in front of me (or worse, fall down right in front of me).
Yes, I would love to pass assessments, but all in good time. Instead of focusing on that, I need to keep reminding myself of how much I've improved in six weeks and how I can be proud of my dedication, effort, and tenacity. I'm also proud of the bruises I've accumulated in the process.
Meanwhile, I have plans to skate again tomorrow.
Showing posts with label falls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label falls. Show all posts
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
I'm Taking the Family With Me
Last week, Matt and I took the girls to the skating rink for their first time on skates, ever. We thought it would be best to start them out with some lessons, rather than just putting them on wheels and sending them off. I know that kids don't really need lessons to be able to learn new things, but we thought it might help with the frustration factor.
To be honest, I was really anxious, watching them fall on their butts over and over. No, I wasn't really worried that they'd hurt themselves, my anxiety was more out of hope that it would be something they could enjoy. These girls are really good at forming their own opinions about things and I was kind of worried that one or both of them would decide that they don't like skating. I have to admit that I was invested in them enjoying skating.
After that first 45 minute lesson, they were tired and their feet were hot. We left after that instead of staying for open skate.
The next day, we went back to the rink for a cousin's birthday part. I think the lesson helped after all, because the girls were instantly in skate heaven. We were there for almost three hours and even when we saw that their eyes were at half mast out of exhaustion, we still had to convince them that it was time to go. They're hooked. Their investment is different than mine, but now we're in it together. Not only that, but Matt now wants some skates and is setting a goal to do roller derby boot camp next year. He's intimiadated by our workouts, but has been following along with my home exercises to prepare himself for the ass kicking that he anticipates next year.
Yes, obsession is contageous, and now I've got my whole family in it.
Meanwhile, I'm struggling with keeping my obsession a positive one. It's hard to keep my skill level separate from my self-confidence level. When I do well on the track, I feel great. When I don't, my confidence plummets. It becomes so much easier to focus on what I can't do than what I can do, and I bring myself down.
Everything about roller derby is so far outside my comfort zone. After a particularly bad string of self-depricating comments, Matt gave me one of his pep talks and reminded me that I've doing something I've never even come close to attempting before. This whole business of losing weight and getting fit...I've done that before. It's wasn't an easy task, but it was a familiar one. I've never been an athlete before. I've never been on a sports team or even wanted to be on a sports team. Someone recently asked me, is roller derby training hard? It's just about the hardest physical thing I've ever put my body through on purpose. Emotionally, it's not the hardests thing I've been through, but it is new and unfamiliar. I want this so badly that sometimes I put myself in a bad mood. That's not good.
Yesterday was one of those days. It's raining buckets and supposed to keep raining. That means no outdoor skating and no regular practice on our outdoor track. Under normal conditions, I would accept that Santa Barbarans have no place to complain about the weather. We have gorgeous weather all year, and when it rains, it's welcome. Except now that I want to skate. It turned my mood yesterday, even though I got to go to the rink and skate with the kids. I skated slowly alongside them, encouraging their zombie stance and used the opportunity to practice my derby stance (squatting position) the whole way around the track. I yearned for some speed, and made a couple of loops around the track on my own, but it wasn't the same as the ass whooping I normally get at practice. I'm an addict and I was without my fix. I ended up missing the alternatively scheduled practice in a conference room doing plyometrics, so I came home and did my own workout, but it just wasn't the same.
I went to bed last night still grumbling. Matt had me look up a list of the skills that I'll need to pass the assessments in a few weeks. It helped because I could see on paper that I am capable of doing most of the skills, even if I can't do the perfectly. There are a few skills that are just beyond my reach, but many of them are things that I can do with some accuracy. I felt better after looking at what I can do rather than what I can't.
I decided before going to sleep that today will be a better day. I will look for a covered parking garage where I can practice cross overs and some of the falls that I haven't done in a while. And if I can't skate today, I'm going to accept that too. I need to keep skating fun, and the kids are an excellent reminder of that.
To be honest, I was really anxious, watching them fall on their butts over and over. No, I wasn't really worried that they'd hurt themselves, my anxiety was more out of hope that it would be something they could enjoy. These girls are really good at forming their own opinions about things and I was kind of worried that one or both of them would decide that they don't like skating. I have to admit that I was invested in them enjoying skating.
After that first 45 minute lesson, they were tired and their feet were hot. We left after that instead of staying for open skate.
The next day, we went back to the rink for a cousin's birthday part. I think the lesson helped after all, because the girls were instantly in skate heaven. We were there for almost three hours and even when we saw that their eyes were at half mast out of exhaustion, we still had to convince them that it was time to go. They're hooked. Their investment is different than mine, but now we're in it together. Not only that, but Matt now wants some skates and is setting a goal to do roller derby boot camp next year. He's intimiadated by our workouts, but has been following along with my home exercises to prepare himself for the ass kicking that he anticipates next year.
 |
| Kate's zombie stance (Braaaiiins!) |
 |
| Molly working her derby stance, while Matt wishes he was on skates |
Yes, obsession is contageous, and now I've got my whole family in it.
Meanwhile, I'm struggling with keeping my obsession a positive one. It's hard to keep my skill level separate from my self-confidence level. When I do well on the track, I feel great. When I don't, my confidence plummets. It becomes so much easier to focus on what I can't do than what I can do, and I bring myself down.
Everything about roller derby is so far outside my comfort zone. After a particularly bad string of self-depricating comments, Matt gave me one of his pep talks and reminded me that I've doing something I've never even come close to attempting before. This whole business of losing weight and getting fit...I've done that before. It's wasn't an easy task, but it was a familiar one. I've never been an athlete before. I've never been on a sports team or even wanted to be on a sports team. Someone recently asked me, is roller derby training hard? It's just about the hardest physical thing I've ever put my body through on purpose. Emotionally, it's not the hardests thing I've been through, but it is new and unfamiliar. I want this so badly that sometimes I put myself in a bad mood. That's not good.
Yesterday was one of those days. It's raining buckets and supposed to keep raining. That means no outdoor skating and no regular practice on our outdoor track. Under normal conditions, I would accept that Santa Barbarans have no place to complain about the weather. We have gorgeous weather all year, and when it rains, it's welcome. Except now that I want to skate. It turned my mood yesterday, even though I got to go to the rink and skate with the kids. I skated slowly alongside them, encouraging their zombie stance and used the opportunity to practice my derby stance (squatting position) the whole way around the track. I yearned for some speed, and made a couple of loops around the track on my own, but it wasn't the same as the ass whooping I normally get at practice. I'm an addict and I was without my fix. I ended up missing the alternatively scheduled practice in a conference room doing plyometrics, so I came home and did my own workout, but it just wasn't the same.
I went to bed last night still grumbling. Matt had me look up a list of the skills that I'll need to pass the assessments in a few weeks. It helped because I could see on paper that I am capable of doing most of the skills, even if I can't do the perfectly. There are a few skills that are just beyond my reach, but many of them are things that I can do with some accuracy. I felt better after looking at what I can do rather than what I can't.
I decided before going to sleep that today will be a better day. I will look for a covered parking garage where I can practice cross overs and some of the falls that I haven't done in a while. And if I can't skate today, I'm going to accept that too. I need to keep skating fun, and the kids are an excellent reminder of that.
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